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Woman: It’s nice to tell people “Up yours!” (she laughs)
Steve: OK. There are times for doing that. It’s like, “Off my suedes.” “Back off!” (Woman: Yeah.) OK, now do you have any questions about this?
Woman: No, I just want to take it back through a bunch of other—
Steve: We will do that next. (both laugh) OK. Now, you’ve done the timeline generalization stuff, the “decision destroyer” and all those things. Now I want you to first take a moment to just think about this situation and that by perceiving this in this area rather than over here, you can have all these resources of being able to notice the other people’s demands or standards and cheerfully just say, “Well, this is not one I want to meet.” (Woman: Uhhuh.) And I want you to consider that there might be some situations in which you would want to meet their standards, or somehow deal with it in a different way than “Up yours.” (Woman: OK.) It might be special friends of yours with whom at least you would want to be a little more political about it. (she laughs) Or that you might even at some point be willing to make certain concessions to their standards because you value their friendship or their relationship sufficiently. (Woman: OK.) That was important to you, and that on balance, given all your different criteria, that would be good for you, (Woman: Uhhuh.) OK? Can you think of— You’ve already thought of a couple of situations like that? (Woman: Uhhuh.) Great.
Woman: And how I’d respond differently, you know.
Steve: Sure, right. We want you to have the full range of response to this. We don’t want to just send you out into the world, raising your middle finger all day long. (laughter)
Woman: Aw, shucks.
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