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Change the experience of loss into one of presence and fullness, starting with the most powerful submodalities you have identified. Usually changing the location of the loss image to the location of the presence image will be enough, and all the other differences will change spontaneously. “Allow that image of the lost person to move over to the location of the presence image.” But occasionally it is helpful to also suggest making other changes. “As that image moves into that other location, you will probably find that it also becomes life-size and three-dimensional, and the color will change to pastel hues,” etc. Usually the content of the representation remains the same. However, at times the content may spontaneously change, or need to be adjusted in order to match the structure of presence.
As the person makes the change, there will usually be a softening and relaxation of posture and facial features, and often tears. These will usually be the soft tears of reunion, and this is a very good sign that the transformation of the loss experience has occurred in a powerful way. However, It I can't always tell the difference between the tears of reunion and the tears of grief, so I always ask to be sure. “I need to check on something with you. There are tears of sadness when something is lost, and there are tears of reunion when something is regained. I think that what you are experiencing now are tears of reunion; is that correct?” If they are actually tears of sadness, it means that something was missed in earlier steps, and it's necessary to back up one or more steps to determine what is incomplete, and finish it before proceeding.
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