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Traumatic losses. Some losses are mingled with the traumatic shock of a sudden car accident, or the unpleasantness of a terminal illness. In this case it is crucially important to separate the valued experience that was lost from the traumatic way that it was lost, and treat these two experiences differently. “Look, the loss that you experienced is quite different from the way that the loss occurred. You are grieving for the person, not the car accident that caused his death. Now I want you separate the loving relationship from the way that it ended into two different locations (gesturing in two different locations in space).” First use the phobia/trauma cure (1, Ch. 7) with the unpleasantness, and then use the grief resolution process with the loss.
Anger or resentment. If there is significant anger or resentment, this will interfere with the grief resolution, so it is important to first resolve this using the forgiveness pattern (3)
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