Steve Andreas > Articles > Escaping the “Black Hole” of Judgement

Introduction

“There is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so.”

— Shakespeare (Hamlet)

In English, there are two basic meanings for the word “judgement.” One meaning is clear thinking—to be able to perceive a situation, gather information, assess it, and come to a conclusion or decision, as in “She has good judgement.” That is not the meaning that I want to discuss in this article. The meaning that I want to explore is the kind of judgement that a judge makes, between right and wrong, innocent or guilty, good and evil.

Judgement is a key concept in most religions, and in other moral and social codes, as a way of setting forth the shared values of a group, and also as a way of upholding and enforcing them. On the other hand, Christ and many other teachers and mystics have advocated acceptance and love as an alternative to judgement.

“Judge not, and ye shall not be judged: condemn not, and ye shall not be condemned: forgive, and ye shall be forgiven.” (Matthew, 6:37)

Many people actively seek experiences of not being judged, being compassionately loved and accepted for who they are—by themselves, by others, or by God—because it heals the sorrows of conflict and misunderstanding.

My father learned from his missionary father how to judge, and I learned well from him. It was only when judgement threatened to tear apart my marriage that I took a long, hard look at judgement, and the many ways that it has affected my life. I don’t know anyone who never judges, though probably the Dalai Lama comes very close. Most of us make hundreds of judgements every day. We judge ourselves, our relatives, our children’s friends, politicians, protesters, criminals, or those with different values or lifestyles, etc. Some of those may be fairly gentle judgements that are innocuous, like “That movie was terrible!” while others are much more troublesome. Learning how the process of judgement works provides ways to transform it when it is problematic.

What does it feel like to be judged? Most people report that they feel “one down,” inferior, physically restricted and diminished, as if they were being attacked. Being judged usually results in “tunnel vision” in which perceptions and responses are restricted to a very narrow range. People typically respond either by shrinking defensively, or counterattacking with judgements of their own about the person who judged them. I have yet to find anyone who enjoys being judged; it is always unpleasant, and often extremely so.

What does it feel like to judge? Most people report feeling a kind of strength and power in asserting their values, a pleasure in being right, and being “one-up,” superior to the other person. There is usually a bodily feeling of stiffness or rigidity, and perceptions tends to narrow and simplify, focusing only on what is being judged.