Comment
The last role-play illustrates the approach that most people identify as Virginia's predominant style. Many therapists have ignored or rejected Virginia's work (often while paying “lip service” to it) because her style was not personally congruent. Others have taken on her style as a new set of “shoulds” to follow slavishly. Yet there are all these other possible ways to engage in a dialogue that is not defined by the other person, and is lively enough to offer multiple opportunities for connecting with someone and beginning a process of change. And if one way doesn't work, you can always try another. Rapport is often thought of as matching the other person. But in a broader sense, you gain rapport by engaging them in some way, because that elicits powerful responses from them. Even if the initial responses are not the ones you want, once that connection is made, they can always be utilized and turned in a more useful direction.
