Steve Andreas > Books Authored > Heart of the Mind > Chapter 11

Many Forms of Loss Can Be Resolved

Since loss is something that we all experience, we have had opportunities to use this grief process to resolve a wide variety of losses, usually in one session. These include a young mother who gave up her baby for adoption, an older mother who lost an adult son by suicide, and men and women who have lost their loves to horrible diseases or accidents. In almost every case, the client experienced a tremendous relief and reconnection with the lost person, and with the value in that relationship.

Although most people think of loss in relation to people, there are many other losses that can be resolved with this method. The loss of a pet, a ring, a home, a job, or an ability�all can be as devastating to some people as the loss of a relationship.

We have used this process with injured athletes who have lost their prized ability to play their favorite sport, and with people who have lost their job, home, or their native country. It has been very gratifying to be able to make such a difference with these people so quickly.

About three months after I assisted a woman grieving over her mother�s death, her husband wrote:

�A brief note to let you know how grateful I am for your spending the time helping my wife deal with her grief. We both thank you for your kindness, your time, your warmth and your genuine concern.

�Since your intervention, she has been able to accept her mother�s death and has literally put the grief in perspective. She is handling stress a lot better now, and because of that, stress has been taken off our work and our marriage. Again, many thanks. I wish you and yours health and well-being, and better living through NLP.�

As a young child, Ruth had a close girl friend with whom she played almost daily as long as she could remember. This closeness had been important to both girls. Then Ruth�s friend suddenly moved to another state. �It�s as if a part of myself left, and I�ve been missing it ever since,� Ruth explained. She had tried a variety of therapeutic methods to try to resolve this loss, without success. Several months after using this grief resolution process, Ruth commented, �After so many years, it�s nice to finally have that loss resolved and complete.� The warmth and richness in Ruth�s voice confirmed the depth of what she was saying.

Only six weeks before I worked with her, Anita had lost the three people who had been closest to her on three successive days. On May 6, her boss was killed in a car accident; on May 7, her mother died; on May 8, her fiance, who had been in Africa experimenting with communication with animals was eaten by a lion! Not surprisingly, Anita complained of emptiness in her life. I asked her which death was most difficult for her to deal with, and then guided her through the resolution process with that one. when we were finished, she looked thoughtful and said, �I could just do the same thing with the others by myself, couldn�t I?� Anita reported later that going through this process had made a big difference for her.