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Virginia seized every opportunity to get family members to notice and express feelings and behaviors that would bring the family closercarefully and patiently knitting the unraveled family back together with loving hands. Several of the excerpts provided in the sections Action (p. 12) and Association/Dissociation (p. 17) are excellent examples of this.
Virginia also took every opportunity to interrupt any communication that would tend to tear the family apart, usually with the direct command Wait a minute often drawn out or repeated. Then she would transform the disruptive communication into a positive connection. Action (p. 12) contains one example; here is another. Right after Casey says, It was nice. Like a warm, fuzzy... Virginia turns to Margie and asks, How do you feel about that?
Margie: I disagree with him.
Virginia: What do you disagree about?
Margie: Whenever I approach him
Virginia (interrupting): Wait a minute, we're right here, right now. (Margie: Yeah, I agree.) I want you to look at me now, and I want you to listen very carefully. There's a lot of historyI know there's a lot of history and I don't know what it is, and I have a hunch that oftentimes you don't see what's right in front of your nose, because it is all covered up with what you expect, because you almost did it right now. Are you with me? (Margie: Uh huh.)
OK, now I'd like you to look at Casey and feel his skin through your hands at this moment and tell me what you feel. (Casey explodes into a smile.)
Margie: Warm.
Virginia: OK. Tell it to him, because he's there. I know all this already.
Margie (looking into Casey's eyes): You're warm and you're soft. It feels good.
Virginia: Now how do you feel, telling that to Casey? Right now.
Margie: Good and whole.
Virginia: And how do you (Casey) feel, hearing it?
Casey: It feels pretty good. (1983, pp. 112-114)
Whenever anyone in the family expressed feelings that brought the family closer, Virginia would resonate with them. Her voice became softer, lower, quavery, and the d's tended to drop out of her speech. Later, when she wanted people to be in touch with their feelings, her voice would become soft and quavery againa nonverbal invitation to become sensitive to feelings and express them.
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