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One way that Virginia brought about change was to state what she wanted a person to experience as a presupposition. Presuppositions include everything that is assumed to be true in a sentence, in contrast to what is directly stated.
One way to identify presuppositions in a sentence is to negate it, and notice what is still true. Take this simple sentence: “It's good that you're willing to express yourself.” When we negate this sentence, we get: “It's not good that you're willing to express yourself.” Despite the negation, “you're willing to express yourself” remains as true as it was in the first sentence.
People typically focus on what they can agree or disagree about, while ignoring what is presupposed. When listeners do not notice presuppositions, they are accepted, and the listener tends to act as if they are true. When someone accepts a new presupposition, he begins to respond to it, often without becoming consciously aware of having made a shift. If we make the statement above into a question—“Do you think it's good or bad that you're willing to express yourself?”—this focuses the listener's attention more strongly on whether the whole sentence is true, making the presuppositions even less noticeable.
Here are examples of Virginia delivering empowering presuppositions to the family within questions. The important presuppositions are noted in parentheses.
What is there for you, at this moment, Margie, that is some vulnerability in you that you know about, that you'd like your family to honor, maybe particularly Casey? (There is some vulnerability you know about it, and you'd like your family to honor it.) (1983, p. 84)
Are you aware that the bad feelings come, and then comes the anger? (You have bad feelings that come before anger.) (1983, p. 100)
What can you do about that? (You can do something.) (1983, p. 128)
What was it you saw and heard right now that made you not believe? (Not believing was a result of perceptions in the present.) (1983, p. 130)
After delivering one or more instructions in the form of presuppositions, Virginia often asked, “How do you feel about that?” When asked about their feelings, most people have to pause to check and then search for words to describe them. This typically takes more concentration than answering other questions, which distracts people from noticing the presuppositions.
How willing are you to act on your wish right now and take the risk that one of you might get hurt? (You are willing to act on your wish right now, and take the risk that one of you might get hurt.) (1983, p. 106)
Now that you've gotten over the feeling of strangeness, how does it feel to have her here? (You have gotten over the feeling of strangeness.) (1983, p. 112)
Virginia hated manipulating people, but she used presuppositions systematically to empower people and to propel them into making their lives better. For more examples and more detailed discussion of how presuppositions work, see Appendix I.
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