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Traditional hypnosis uses many direct commands, such as “feel relaxed,” “sleep deeply,” etc. Since direct commands are recognized consciously, the person may consciously resist responding to them.
In contrast, Milton Erickson used embedded commands, commands that were placed in a longer sentence, with the embedded command marked out nonverbally by a shift in voice tone or volume, a gesture, a glance, a tilt of the head, etc.
It's possible for a person to feel relaxed.
How enjoyable it is to sleep deeply and dream pleasant dreams.
These are examples of “mixed state” communication. The listener consciously responds to the entire sentence, while not recognizing but unconsciously responding to the embedded command. Such commands can be especially effective when the whole sentence seems to be directed toward someone else.
Although embedded commands were an explicit part of Erickson's work, few therapists use them systematically, particularly in the absence of a formal trance induction. Virginia, however, used them fully, and such commands contributed significantly to her effectiveness.
While discussing the father's getting angry and yelling, Virginia says to the son, “Some way—and you're saying that if he could find some way to treat that differently—is that what you hope for?” (1983, p. 34) The italicized words are an embedded command directed at the father and marked by an increase in volume.
A couple of minutes later Virginia repeats this command. “OK, well, what I'm trying to get at here is that you're talking about how you think maybe your daddy could do differently with his temper, and I think we all have to struggle with that.” (1983, p. 38) Virginia signals the command by facing down with her eyes closed while gesturing toward the father.
Soon after that, Virginia says, “You'd like to somehow have your dad look at this a little differently—what about you, for yourself?” (1983, p. 38) Virginia looks and gestures toward the father.
After hearing about a time when the mother was absent for two months and the father got on well with the kids, and after determining that the mother is comparing her husband's fathering to that of the mother's own idealized father, Virginia says to the mother “OK. What are the chances now Margie, for finding out, for you really finding out, how Casey would feel comfortable fathering his children?... and seeing how far you could let that happen?” Virginia is looking intently at Margie, with her right hand on the side of her head and nodding her head.
Margie: I don't know how far. Children upset Casey.
Virginia: We'll get into it some more, but, what I need to find out is, if you are willing to go on a search to find out how Casey really wants to do his fathering. You may not know it. (14, p. 76) (Virginia looks down with eyes closed; her voice becomes softer.)
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