Steve Andreas > Articles > Resolving Grief

Resolving Grief

© 2002

• Introduction
1. Recalling the ending
2. Dissociation
• Resignation
• Resourceful response to loss
• 'Object constancy'
• Separation anxiety
• Gathering information
• Reframing Objections
1. 'I don't want to say goodbye.'
2. 'If I experienced the lost person as being here with me, people would think I'm nuts.'
3. 'If I experienced the lost person as being here with me, it might interfere with my relating to other people in reality.'
4. 'Grieving is a way to honor the dead.'
5. 'Well, I guess it would be fine for me to do that, but if I were happy about the person who is gone, my family and friends would think that I didn't care about her/him.'
• Resolving Grief Outline
• Part I: Reunion with the lost experience
1. Loss (absence/emptiness)
2. Presence (fullness)
3. Contrastive analysis
4. Testing submodality differences
5. Congruence check
6. Transformation
7. Testing
• Part II: Reengaging with the world
1. Access the valued experience
2. Identify values/outcomes
3. Transformation
4. Congruence check
5. Placing the new experiences in the future
• Commentary
• Other applications
• Different content
• Loss of self
• Loss of a dream
• References