Someone who is grieving typically represents the lost person as separate from them in the past. Part I of the grief pattern recovers this lost experience so that it becomes an associated resource that is fully experienced in the present. The following steps are written as instructions for you to learn this process, either with yourself, and/or working with someone else.
Preliminary step: Find a "break state" stimulus If the person is crying or depressed, etc., you need to find a way to change this state to a more useful state before you attempt to begin the process. Even if the client starts the process in a good state, s/he may slip into grieving as you go through the early stages of the process, so you may need to be able to break state later. Asking the client to stand up and walk around, introducing a startling distraction, or asking the client about an experience of resourcefulness or competence, etc. will usually be sufficient to break state.